MY LOSS IS MY ROOT by Téa Nicolae

Téa Nicolae is a Romanian poetess and scholar-practitioner living in the United Kingdom. Téa writes devotional (bhakti) poetry as well as confessional poetry, and her main research interests are the Mahābhārata, Śāktism, and non-dual philosophy. She holds a Bachelor of Arts and two Masters of Arts, and is in the process of obtaining her Ph.D.


my loss is my root when my legs are wobbly.
it keeps me level-headed, grounded, with my feet turned inward.
my loss is motherly. it keeps me nurtured, well fed, full.
my loss is nourishing, it wets my lips when my mouth is dry.

on good days,
i like to think that my loss blossoms in my core
and drops through my feet to the moist soil
it falls to the centre of the earth,
through tangled grass and layers of rock
it feeds on flower stems, leaves, and seeds
and absorbs the warmth of mother earth.

when it skyrockets back to me, it throbs with energy
it heals my body and patches the open wounds in my brain.

on good days,
i imagine my loss sprinkling the ground like rain.
it wets my fingers, and when i cry,
the soil thrives.

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